“You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”
- Henry Louis Mencken
We all need to access more courage in order to live our lives with greater joy, love, power, choice, integrity, and fullness. And we all can envision and create a better tomorrow while finding courage to make required changes.
Courage means ‘heart.’ It cannot be found in one great, heroic act, but in day-to-day actions that come from the heart, and from our willingness to take the path of heart.
We can cultivate and develop courage; it’s just a matter of discovering what’s most vital and enlivening.
So, grab your life by the throat and start living a bold life. Here are the ten commandments:
I. You shall not quit, because it ain’t over till it’s over.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up! If someone tries to put you down, use that as fuel to get you to your goals. If you get rejected, keep trying. Pursue your goals with passion and confidence, and you’ll succeed in whatever endeavor you take on.
What are you made of? Really, what makes you tick. And how strong do you think you are?
Whenever you will feel fear, tiredness, discomfort or laziness, stare them right in the eyes and just laugh. Because the bottom line is if you want something and commit to paying the price to get it, you will, sooner or later, have everything you could ever want in your life.
So never quit on yourself. It ain’t over till it’s over.
II. You shall think before you speak.
When you engage another person in conversation, always think before talking. May sound simple, but everybody knows someone who does not think before talking. You know the saying, “Putting his/her foot in his/her mouth.”
I know your mind has many random thoughts, but there is no need to expose them to the world. Look at good politicians, sales people, and diplomats. They are masters at saying enough to stay out of a conflict, but somehow they still manage to get a particular point across.
So, before you open your mouth, just turn over your thought and inject it with a trace of reason.
III. You shall not try to save someone from himself, because you will fail.
You can try if you want - and you will - but you’ll eventually fail. You have to understand that your belief that you know what’s best will always be trumped by his belief that he knows better.
So, treat his crash-and-burn like a good New Year’s party: Enjoy the carnage, but offer to stay and help clean up afterward.
IV. You shall surround yourself with good people.
If you want to achieve great heights, you must fly with the best. And people will always judge you based on those that surround you. So choose your friends carefully.
If you choose people of quality, competence and integrity to work and live with, you will eventually come off looking brilliant from the onset.
And remember to stay away from negative people as much as you can, they are really draining. Bad taste in pants can be forgiven. Bad taste in friends cannot.
V. You shall not think life is fair, because it isn’t.
Life just isn’t fair, and I know this might sound crazy - but that’s great news!
If life were ‘fair’, you would be in trouble. And that’s because you wouldn’t be able to do anything to change your personal success, you’d get what everyone else was getting.
Truly, the best part of this realization is that you CAN change your personal success in ANY area you want. And you can turn the tables around in YOUR FAVOR, because many people living in our society feel the house is playing with a stacked deck.
Life isn’t fair! Now realize the truth and harness the power of flipping it around.
VI. You shall always consider the source.
With so many different media we have today, why rely on just one person to get help? Why would you put success on the line by allowing only one person to mentor you?
Because no matter how much experience or how well you think they are trying to guide you, you have to validate that advice by checking for yourself. Never take advice only from one source.
Remember that only after you’ve gathered enough data and finished reading anecdotal reports you can make a well-informed decision. And when you can, when you have time-tasted information to provide, make sure to share your experiences with others.
VII. You shall get over yourself.
That curing-cancer story you have is good only as a nice résumé builder and good for about 5 minutes of party talk. After that, all anyone wants to hear is just a good joke.
I think it’s time for our society to take a more modest approach and quit this destructive pursuit of self-esteem at all costs.
VIII. You shall shut up and play.
Are you one of those people who is always complaining about how the world is run? Well let me tell you something: Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing. If you have a problem with something, you’re the only person responsible for fixing it.
There is no one else you need praise or blame, you have to take responsibility for your own life. There is no ‘they,’ ‘him,’ or ’she.’ No one is going to fix your life. You are!
So get out there and get your hands dirty, don’t just stand there holding a towel for others. The world needs people willing to do something, not people who just talk about doing something. Don’t just raise your voice, lift your feet and get moving!
IX. You shall not try to please everyone.
You can’t be everything to everyone, no matter how hard you try.
Don’t cry, get mean, yell or vent during confrontations. Be confident, state what you feel and let the person show their true self. Laugh until your side hurts. And remember that you can’t please everyone.
People will always find some fault with your site, your work, your housekeeping, your parenting and whatever else they can come up with. So what? What counts is that YOU know you are doing the best you can, and you feel good about yourself.
Don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
X. You shall not ponder so long.
There’s nothing less captivating or inspiring than watching a man ponder. Heck, even Thoreau eventually stopped staring at the pond and wrote a book.
Remember that pain is only temporary, but quitting lasts forever. So, live a strong, bold life!
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Agree with every word. As for paragraph VII, sometimes self-esteem could become arrogance, and that is really awful.
Ririan, thank you again for your great tips.
cwiz, I think that arrogance is a situation that develops when you start to lose faith in your own beliefs and direction, yet you still believe, against your own best judgement, that you can succeed along the same path.
But self-esteem can only exist when you understand that something is wrong and you take the time to clear yourself of those things that no longer work, you take pride in yourself, and make a realistic plan to change your life and yourself. It is not a feeling of having power over others, but it is an acceptance of others and a feeling of power over your own life.
We have two ears and a month. Use them accordingly.
I offer this as a comment on your comment about a comment - re: arrogance.
I think that arrogance is not necessarily about what you believe about your seslf and what you can do. It is more about what you can do as it compares with what others can do.
I think you can have self-esteem and arrogance. You can also have self-esteem and humility.
God I love this site.
I’ve been reading this site for only one week, and I really love it. A lot of the things I have read here have helped me to keep going after a hard week of disappointment with myself, even knowing that I did my best in what I do.
Thanks for everything, this website is excellent, and I hope that I´m not making a lot of mistakes with my english writing because I’m not a native english speaker and I don’t live in an english speaking country.
Farewell.
Sarven, we should definitely listen more than we talk.
Something magical happens when people give their undivided attention to others, without interrupting or focusing on what they are going to say next. And this is true whether the environment is professional or personal.
When you listen more than you talk, people will realize you are genuinely interested in them, and that you are trying to understand their specific situation, you are really listening. They feel more comfortable with you, and will soon realize you are on their side.
Kevin, you’re right, arrogance is having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. An arrogant person is overly convinced of his own superiority and importance above others.
What I was trying to say is that someone with arrogance is arrogant toward himself also, even when he knows he is failing, he still believes (against his own best judgement) he can’t be wrong.
AK.E, Thank you for your love
Juan, I think that disappointment is because you feel overwhelmed by everything. It is important at times to be selfish so that you are able to cope with all else. So slow down, stop even, take a day to thoroughly rest and pamper yourself. Also try to simplify - do less, but better.
Hope you’ll feel better and thank you for your kind words.
Awesome!
Ririan - very nice article as usual. I really enjoyed reading this article.
But in point III
- “So, treat his crash-and-burn like a good New Year’s party: Enjoy the carnage, but offer to stay and help clean up afterward.”
Can you explain this further? Viji
Ala, thank you
Viji, you can’t save someone from himself, he will think he’s right, until he fails. So, let him crash-and-burn and watch him failing, but offer your help and support afterward.
Off-topic, but important no less: your blogroll looks like my bookmarks in firefox. Wise choice of friends.
This is one absolutely excellent article! Motivating no-nonsense advice.
Rarian, great article. Thank you.
I had a question about point I, might sound kinda dumb, but anyway.
How do you know when its over? Its important to know this, you don’t want to keep trying even after its over, right? On the other hand, you might feel “its over” every time you fail.
sorry.. i misspelled your name.
So the regular top 10 list format doesn’t cut it anymore? You had to move up to 10 commandments. Maybe you will get some religious google hits. Keep up the good work.
darn i really love this site!
Next time I’m “stuck” at one table for an evening’s function, I hope you’re on it. You’d be the kind of person it’s energising to be around. Great blog.
Jimmy V: “Don’t give up; don’t EVER give up!”
Classic…. thanks for this site. I’ve recommended it to my daughter as the only thing she should allow my granddaughter to access online….
Paul and Henrik, thank you for your kind words
KP, I think sometimes we have to be patient and sometimes we have to get moving. And real wisdom is in knowing when to stay and when to go. I know, it’s easier said than done, but we all know when we’ve exhausted certain possibilities, and quite possibly ourselves, in the course of finding out.
One way is to train our brain to do some assessing first. Try the ‘scenario’ test: If I quit this job, what will tomorrow bring? Maybe some adventures, but without a paycheck. What if I stayed in this job? The same old stuff, but with a paycheck. What if I thought about a new career? A good plan, because you can stay in your job while you’re working towards finding something more challenging. So you better do the brain work first by asking yourself a lot of questions.
And if, after trying to make your current situation better, it is an obvious dead end, then it’s a good time to move on. Hope this will help you.
John, I hope so
thank you!
ndtwc, I really love your comment
Pete, thank you for being so kind, I hope we get to meat each other.
vkaryl, thank you and I’m glad you like my blog
Maybe you must add one more: Don’t consider yourself to have achieved everything or proven yourself to everyone, that’s the starting point for not achieving anything.
What a bunch of superficial things.
*laughing* Seems like someone got up on the “wrong side of the rock” this morning….
Matt, thank you for your contribution, that’s another great point to keep in mind.
vkaryl, thank you my friend
Hi Ririan,
Lot of Good words to learn from yet another source on WWW. And I hope I’ll put them in practice. But I’ve one problem which I’m unable to digest myself. What is great in having success in one’s deeds after working hard and struggle. It’s in any way bound to happen at the end. The trick here is how should one get smart in success without working hard or rather not knowing his struggle in his/her life.
I might sound dumb but you know I’m like that!
regards
Vijjuu
I am always searching the web looking for articles, etc on wisdom, knowledge, quotes. I found a wealth of interesting information on your website. I am interesting in knowing a little more about your background and your search for knowledge.
George
I loved this. I agree with all of it. Thanks for publishing it for those of us who need to read it.
A Great Blog! Thanks for writing this! I’m personally going through an extremely tough period and have been feeling so sorry for myself… “life isn’t fair”. I really love your take on it. I will be back!
A really great take on managing our own participation in this thing called life. Commandment number VIII and X are simple and well said. You have grabbed this concept by the throat and posted it boldly. Authentic work… nice job Moses!
More great tips! The only thing I would change would be in tip number one.
paying the price -> enjoying the price
commandment #1 and #9 are my absolute favs! Living a bold life requires accountability as indicated in the 10 commandments. Great blog. Thanks for posting this
Ririan, I’ve read this article over and over again and each time I read it I find strength to carry on. All the points are so aptly mentioned with what one goes through daily chores of life that one can connect to. Thanks for having this site, it’s simply amazing and look forward each time for anything new you have to offer on this site. Keep going! Rgds - Nawaz
Thanks for the tips Dan, a well thought out and comprehensive tutorial.
Thanks for very interesting article. btw. I really enjoyed reading all of your posts. It’s interesting to read ideas, and observations from someone else’s point of view… makes you think more. It’s really good written and I fully agree with You on main issue, btw. I must say that I really enjoyed reading all of Your posts
Thank You for another very interesting article. So please try to keep up the great work all the time.
Thanks all information.
I especially like: IV. You shall surround yourself with good people.
One of the best ways to gather life experience is by modeling the behavior of those who already have what we want. Please check out my blog with free video interviews of some of the nation’s ultra successful people from my nationwide tour.
http://blog.achievementiq.com
Thanks!
-Stanley
Thank you for this tips and your Blog!, I spent my time effectivelly browsing it!
Interesting. I lived two of these points to the most extreme degree and ended up devastated. First, I fell in love with a man who didn’t love me. I persisted for two years, until finally, he came around. We moved in together, moved to Alaska and started our life. Eventually, he began to drink, heavily (as many Alaskans do). I realized that I couldn’t save him from himself, so I sat by and watched. Ultimately, he killed himself. I guess my point here would be that every situation is different. The greatest intelligence we can possess is the wisdom to know when to exit gracefully.
thanks
Thank You for another very interesting article. It’s really good written and I fully agree with You on main issue, btw. I must say that I really enjoyed reading all of Your posts. It’s interesting to read ideas, and observations from someone else’s point of view…
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More great tips! The only thing I would change would be in tip number one.
paying the price -> enjoying the price
Problem is, I post from a large number of locations
very nice
Thanks for this!
I live by many of those commandments already but will try implementing the others into my everyday life.
Thanks you good
I follow what Joshua Porter is doing, and I think he nailed it, personal value must preced network value. In this case, Facebook
Nice constribution. Thank you and greets from germany!
You are not the
Thanks for sharing
thanks for this post
Very nice article. I really liked it a lot and it gave me a few good pointers
Thank You for another very interesting article. So please try to keep up the great work all the time.
good work
many thanks
This is one absolutely excellent article! Motivating no-nonsense advice. tahank you
More great tips! The only thing I would change would be in tip number one.
paying the price -> enjoying the price
I follow what Joshua Porter is doing, and I think he nailed it, personal value must preced network value. In this case, Facebook Thank You
Problem is, I post from a large number of locations
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Great post!…I try to do this myself weekly, and it does pay off. It gets your name and site out there for more people to see it
I live by many of those commandments already but will try implementing the others into my everyday life.
nice sharing thnak you ririan.
Thanks, i like it
Very nice article. I really liked it a lot and it gave me a few good pointers
Agree with every word. As for paragraph VII, sometimes self-esteem could become arrogance, and that is really awful.
Ririan, thank you again for your great tips
Good stuff. Thanks and greetings!
Thank you for this great post.
Thanks for very useful article. I really enjoyed reading all of your posts. It’s interesting to read ideas, and observations from someone else’s point of view… makes you think more. So please keep up the great work.
thnks
thnks
thanx
Great and excellent article it’s realy helpful. Thanks again.
Good stuff. Thanks and greetings!
thankss so much
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