Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life


Last updated: Friday, December 8, 2006 | 15 Views

“You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”

- Henry Louis Mencken

We all need to access more courage in order to live our lives with greater joy, love, power, choice, integrity, and fullness. And we all can envision and create a better tomorrow while finding courage to make required changes.

ten commandmentsCourage means ‘heart.’ It cannot be found in one great, heroic act, but in day-to-day actions that come from the heart, and from our willingness to take the path of heart.

We can cultivate and develop courage; it’s just a matter of discovering what’s most vital and enlivening.

So, grab your life by the throat and start living a bold life. Here are the ten commandments:

I. You shall not quit, because it ain’t over till it’s over.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up! If someone tries to put you down, use that as fuel to get you to your goals. If you get rejected, keep trying. Pursue your goals with passion and confidence, and you’ll succeed in whatever endeavor you take on.

What are you made of? Really, what makes you tick. And how strong do you think you are?

Whenever you will feel fear, tiredness, discomfort or laziness, stare them right in the eyes and just laugh. Because the bottom line is if you want something and commit to paying the price to get it, you will, sooner or later, have everything you could ever want in your life.

So never quit on yourself. It ain’t over till it’s over.

II. You shall think before you speak.

When you engage another person in conversation, always think before talking. May sound simple, but everybody knows someone who does not think before talking. You know the saying, “Putting his/her foot in his/her mouth.”

I know your mind has many random thoughts, but there is no need to expose them to the world. Look at good politicians, sales people, and diplomats. They are masters at saying enough to stay out of a conflict, but somehow they still manage to get a particular point across.

So, before you open your mouth, just turn over your thought and inject it with a trace of reason.

III. You shall not try to save someone from himself, because you will fail.

You can try if you want - and you will - but you’ll eventually fail. You have to understand that your belief that you know what’s best will always be trumped by his belief that he knows better.

So, treat his crash-and-burn like a good New Year’s party: Enjoy the carnage, but offer to stay and help clean up afterward.

IV. You shall surround yourself with good people.

If you want to achieve great heights, you must fly with the best. And people will always judge you based on those that surround you. So choose your friends carefully.

If you choose people of quality, competence and integrity to work and live with, you will eventually come off looking brilliant from the onset.

And remember to stay away from negative people as much as you can, they are really draining. Bad taste in pants can be forgiven. Bad taste in friends cannot.

V. You shall not think life is fair, because it isn’t.

Life just isn’t fair, and I know this might sound crazy - but that’s great news!

If life were ‘fair’, you would be in trouble. And that’s because you wouldn’t be able to do anything to change your personal success, you’d get what everyone else was getting.

Truly, the best part of this realization is that you CAN change your personal success in ANY area you want. And you can turn the tables around in YOUR FAVOR, because many people living in our society feel the house is playing with a stacked deck.

Life isn’t fair! Now realize the truth and harness the power of flipping it around.

VI. You shall always consider the source.

With so many different media we have today, why rely on just one person to get help? Why would you put success on the line by allowing only one person to mentor you?

Because no matter how much experience or how well you think they are trying to guide you, you have to validate that advice by checking for yourself. Never take advice only from one source.

Remember that only after you’ve gathered enough data and finished reading anecdotal reports you can make a well-informed decision. And when you can, when you have time-tasted information to provide, make sure to share your experiences with others.

VII. You shall get over yourself.

That curing-cancer story you have is good only as a nice résumé builder and good for about 5 minutes of party talk. After that, all anyone wants to hear is just a good joke.

I think it’s time for our society to take a more modest approach and quit this destructive pursuit of self-esteem at all costs.

VIII. You shall shut up and play.

Are you one of those people who is always complaining about how the world is run? Well let me tell you something: Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing. If you have a problem with something, you’re the only person responsible for fixing it.

There is no one else you need praise or blame, you have to take responsibility for your own life. There is no ‘they,’ ‘him,’ or ’she.’ No one is going to fix your life. You are!

So get out there and get your hands dirty, don’t just stand there holding a towel for others. The world needs people willing to do something, not people who just talk about doing something. Don’t just raise your voice, lift your feet and get moving!

IX. You shall not try to please everyone.

You can’t be everything to everyone, no matter how hard you try.

Don’t cry, get mean, yell or vent during confrontations. Be confident, state what you feel and let the person show their true self. Laugh until your side hurts. And remember that you can’t please everyone.

People will always find some fault with your site, your work, your housekeeping, your parenting and whatever else they can come up with. So what? What counts is that YOU know you are doing the best you can, and you feel good about yourself.

Don’t worry about pleasing everyone.

X. You shall not ponder so long.

There’s nothing less captivating or inspiring than watching a man ponder. Heck, even Thoreau eventually stopped staring at the pond and wrote a book.

Remember that pain is only temporary, but quitting lasts forever. So, live a strong, bold life!

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Comments

145 comments
  1. December 8, 2006

    Agree with every word. As for paragraph VII, sometimes self-esteem could become arrogance, and that is really awful.
    Ririan, thank you again for your great tips.

    Leave a reply
  2. December 8, 2006

    cwiz, I think that arrogance is a situation that develops when you start to lose faith in your own beliefs and direction, yet you still believe, against your own best judgement, that you can succeed along the same path.

    But self-esteem can only exist when you understand that something is wrong and you take the time to clear yourself of those things that no longer work, you take pride in yourself, and make a realistic plan to change your life and yourself. It is not a feeling of having power over others, but it is an acceptance of others and a feeling of power over your own life.

    Leave a reply
  3. December 8, 2006

    We have two ears and a month. Use them accordingly.

    Leave a reply
  4. December 8, 2006

    I offer this as a comment on your comment about a comment - re: arrogance.

    I think that arrogance is not necessarily about what you believe about your seslf and what you can do. It is more about what you can do as it compares with what others can do.

    I think you can have self-esteem and arrogance. You can also have self-esteem and humility.

    Leave a reply
  5. December 8, 2006

    God I love this site.

    Leave a reply
  6. December 8, 2006

    I’ve been reading this site for only one week, and I really love it. A lot of the things I have read here have helped me to keep going after a hard week of disappointment with myself, even knowing that I did my best in what I do.

    Thanks for everything, this website is excellent, and I hope that I´m not making a lot of mistakes with my english writing because I’m not a native english speaker and I don’t live in an english speaking country.

    Farewell.

    Leave a reply
  7. December 9, 2006

    Sarven, we should definitely listen more than we talk.

    Something magical happens when people give their undivided attention to others, without interrupting or focusing on what they are going to say next. And this is true whether the environment is professional or personal.

    When you listen more than you talk, people will realize you are genuinely interested in them, and that you are trying to understand their specific situation, you are really listening. They feel more comfortable with you, and will soon realize you are on their side.

    Leave a reply
  8. December 9, 2006

    Kevin, you’re right, arrogance is having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. An arrogant person is overly convinced of his own superiority and importance above others.

    What I was trying to say is that someone with arrogance is arrogant toward himself also, even when he knows he is failing, he still believes (against his own best judgement) he can’t be wrong.

    AK.E, Thank you for your love ;)

    Juan, I think that disappointment is because you feel overwhelmed by everything. It is important at times to be selfish so that you are able to cope with all else. So slow down, stop even, take a day to thoroughly rest and pamper yourself. Also try to simplify - do less, but better.

    Hope you’ll feel better and thank you for your kind words.

    Leave a reply
  9. December 9, 2006

    Awesome!

    Leave a reply
  10. December 9, 2006

    Ririan - very nice article as usual. I really enjoyed reading this article.

    But in point III

    - “So, treat his crash-and-burn like a good New Year’s party: Enjoy the carnage, but offer to stay and help clean up afterward.”

    Can you explain this further? Viji

    Leave a reply
  11. December 10, 2006

    Ala, thank you :)

    Viji, you can’t save someone from himself, he will think he’s right, until he fails. So, let him crash-and-burn and watch him failing, but offer your help and support afterward.

    Leave a reply
  12. December 10, 2006

    Off-topic, but important no less: your blogroll looks like my bookmarks in firefox. Wise choice of friends.

    Leave a reply
  13. December 10, 2006

    [...] That quote is from Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life, posted at Ririan Project.  It’s part of the essence of our individual thread. [...]

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  14. December 11, 2006

    This is one absolutely excellent article! Motivating no-nonsense advice.

    Leave a reply
  15. December 12, 2006

    Rarian, great article. Thank you.

    I had a question about point I, might sound kinda dumb, but anyway.
    How do you know when its over? Its important to know this, you don’t want to keep trying even after its over, right? On the other hand, you might feel “its over” every time you fail.

    Leave a reply
  16. December 12, 2006

    sorry.. i misspelled your name.

    Leave a reply
  17. December 12, 2006

    So the regular top 10 list format doesn’t cut it anymore? You had to move up to 10 commandments. Maybe you will get some religious google hits. Keep up the good work.

    Leave a reply
  18. December 13, 2006

    darn i really love this site!

    Leave a reply
  19. December 14, 2006

    Next time I’m “stuck” at one table for an evening’s function, I hope you’re on it. You’d be the kind of person it’s energising to be around. Great blog.

    Leave a reply
  20. December 14, 2006

    Jimmy V: “Don’t give up; don’t EVER give up!”

    Classic…. thanks for this site. I’ve recommended it to my daughter as the only thing she should allow my granddaughter to access online….

    Leave a reply
  21. December 15, 2006

    Paul and Henrik, thank you for your kind words :)

    KP, I think sometimes we have to be patient and sometimes we have to get moving. And real wisdom is in knowing when to stay and when to go. I know, it’s easier said than done, but we all know when we’ve exhausted certain possibilities, and quite possibly ourselves, in the course of finding out.

    One way is to train our brain to do some assessing first. Try the ‘scenario’ test: If I quit this job, what will tomorrow bring? Maybe some adventures, but without a paycheck. What if I stayed in this job? The same old stuff, but with a paycheck. What if I thought about a new career? A good plan, because you can stay in your job while you’re working towards finding something more challenging. So you better do the brain work first by asking yourself a lot of questions.

    And if, after trying to make your current situation better, it is an obvious dead end, then it’s a good time to move on. Hope this will help you.

    Leave a reply
  22. December 15, 2006

    John, I hope so :) thank you!

    ndtwc, I really love your comment ;)

    Pete, thank you for being so kind, I hope we get to meat each other.

    vkaryl, thank you and I’m glad you like my blog :)

    Leave a reply
  23. December 15, 2006

    [...] Ririan presents Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life posted at Ririan Project. [...]

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  24. December 16, 2006

    Maybe you must add one more: Don’t consider yourself to have achieved everything or proven yourself to everyone, that’s the starting point for not achieving anything.

    Leave a reply
  25. December 16, 2006

    What a bunch of superficial things.

    Leave a reply
  26. December 16, 2006

    *laughing* Seems like someone got up on the “wrong side of the rock” this morning….

    Leave a reply
  27. December 18, 2006

    [...] Ririan presents Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life posted at Ririan Project. [...]

    Leave a reply
  28. December 19, 2006

    Matt, thank you for your contribution, that’s another great point to keep in mind.

    vkaryl, thank you my friend ;)

    Leave a reply
  29. December 20, 2006

    Hi Ririan,

    Lot of Good words to learn from yet another source on http://WWW. And I hope I’ll put them in practice. But I’ve one problem which I’m unable to digest myself. What is great in having success in one’s deeds after working hard and struggle. It’s in any way bound to happen at the end. The trick here is how should one get smart in success without working hard or rather not knowing his struggle in his/her life.

    I might sound dumb but you know I’m like that!

    regards
    Vijjuu

    Leave a reply
  30. December 22, 2006

    I am always searching the web looking for articles, etc on wisdom, knowledge, quotes. I found a wealth of interesting information on your website. I am interesting in knowing a little more about your background and your search for knowledge.

    George

    Leave a reply
  31. December 23, 2006

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  32. January 3, 2007

    I loved this. I agree with all of it. Thanks for publishing it for those of us who need to read it.

    Leave a reply
  33. January 4, 2007

    Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life…

    Another great post on Ririan Project listing the ten commandments for living a bold life. The list goes as follows: I. You shall not quit, because it ain’t over till it’s over. II. You shall think before you speak. III. You shall not try to save some…

    Leave a reply
  34. January 12, 2007

    [...] Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life at Ririan Project (tags: Life Success) [...]

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  35. January 29, 2007

    [...] Ririan Project – The third (after the two above) and last personal development blog where I read pretty much every post. Ririan focuses on a variety of different personal growth topics. Often in the form of excellent, concise and no-nonsense lists such as Ten commandments for living a bold life. Ririan also has the good habit of using appropriate images in every post. Kind of refreshing since most personal development blogs (including this one) mainly consists of a whole lot of words, words and more words. [...]

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  36. February 11, 2007

    A Great Blog! Thanks for writing this! I’m personally going through an extremely tough period and have been feeling so sorry for myself… “life isn’t fair”. I really love your take on it. I will be back!

    Leave a reply
  37. April 10, 2007

    [...] Ririan presents Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life posted at Ririan Project. [...]

    Leave a reply
  38. April 10, 2007

    A really great take on managing our own participation in this thing called life. Commandment number VIII and X are simple and well said. You have grabbed this concept by the throat and posted it boldly. Authentic work… nice job Moses!

    Leave a reply
  39. May 5, 2007

    More great tips! The only thing I would change would be in tip number one.

    paying the price -> enjoying the price :-)

    Leave a reply
  40. July 5, 2007

    commandment #1 and #9 are my absolute favs! Living a bold life requires accountability as indicated in the 10 commandments. Great blog. Thanks for posting this

    Leave a reply
  41. July 5, 2007

    Ririan, I’ve read this article over and over again and each time I read it I find strength to carry on. All the points are so aptly mentioned with what one goes through daily chores of life that one can connect to. Thanks for having this site, it’s simply amazing and look forward each time for anything new you have to offer on this site. Keep going! Rgds - Nawaz

    Leave a reply
  42. August 13, 2007

    [...] Ten Commandments for Living a Bold Life - Ririan Project [...]

    Leave a reply
  43. October 11, 2007

    Thanks for the tips Dan, a well thought out and comprehensive tutorial.

    Leave a reply
  44. October 21, 2007

    Thanks for very interesting article. btw. I really enjoyed reading all of your posts. It’s interesting to read ideas, and observations from someone else’s point of view… makes you think more. It’s really good written and I fully agree with You on main issue, btw. I must say that I really enjoyed reading all of Your posts

    Leave a reply
  45. October 28, 2007

    Thank You for another very interesting article. So please try to keep up the great work all the time.

    Leave a reply
  46. October 31, 2007

    Thanks all information.

    Leave a reply
  47. November 7, 2007

    I especially like: IV. You shall surround yourself with good people.

    One of the best ways to gather life experience is by modeling the behavior of those who already have what we want. Please check out my blog with free video interviews of some of the nation’s ultra successful people from my nationwide tour.

    http://blog.achievementiq.com

    Thanks!
    -Stanley

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  48. November 11, 2007

    Thank you for this tips and your Blog!, I spent my time effectivelly browsing it!

    Leave a reply
  49. November 14, 2007

    Interesting. I lived two of these points to the most extreme degree and ended up devastated. First, I fell in love with a man who didn’t love me. I persisted for two years, until finally, he came around. We moved in together, moved to Alaska and started our life. Eventually, he began to drink, heavily (as many Alaskans do). I realized that I couldn’t save him from himself, so I sat by and watched. Ultimately, he killed himself. I guess my point here would be that every situation is different. The greatest intelligence we can possess is the wisdom to know when to exit gracefully.

    Leave a reply
  50. November 18, 2007

    thanks

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  51. November 24, 2007

    Thank You for another very interesting article. It’s really good written and I fully agree with You on main issue, btw. I must say that I really enjoyed reading all of Your posts. It’s interesting to read ideas, and observations from someone else’s point of view…

    Leave a reply
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  53. December 27, 2007

    More great tips! The only thing I would change would be in tip number one.

    paying the price -> enjoying the price

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    Problem is, I post from a large number of locations

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  55. December 29, 2007

    very nice :) Thanks for this!

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  56. January 5, 2008

    I live by many of those commandments already but will try implementing the others into my everyday life.

    Leave a reply
  57. January 24, 2008

    Thanks you good
    I follow what Joshua Porter is doing, and I think he nailed it, personal value must preced network value. In this case, Facebook

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    Nice constribution. Thank you and greets from germany!

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    Very nice article. I really liked it a lot and it gave me a few good pointers

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    good work
    many thanks

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  68. February 8, 2008

    This is one absolutely excellent article! Motivating no-nonsense advice. tahank you

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  69. February 8, 2008

    More great tips! The only thing I would change would be in tip number one.

    paying the price -> enjoying the price

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    I follow what Joshua Porter is doing, and I think he nailed it, personal value must preced network value. In this case, Facebook Thank You

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    Great post!…I try to do this myself weekly, and it does pay off. It gets your name and site out there for more people to see it

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  77. February 15, 2008

    I live by many of those commandments already but will try implementing the others into my everyday life.

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  78. February 16, 2008

    nice sharing thnak you ririan.

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  79. March 14, 2008

    Thanks, i like it

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  80. March 20, 2008

    Very nice article. I really liked it a lot and it gave me a few good pointers

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  81. March 22, 2008

    Agree with every word. As for paragraph VII, sometimes self-esteem could become arrogance, and that is really awful.
    Ririan, thank you again for your great tips

    Leave a reply
  82. March 24, 2008

    Good stuff. Thanks and greetings!

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  83. March 25, 2008

    Thank you for this great post.

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  84. March 25, 2008

    Thanks for very useful article. I really enjoyed reading all of your posts. It’s interesting to read ideas, and observations from someone else’s point of view… makes you think more. So please keep up the great work.

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  85. March 26, 2008

    thnks

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    thnks

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    thanx

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    Great and excellent article it’s realy helpful. Thanks again.

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  89. May 20, 2008

    Good stuff. Thanks and greetings!

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    thankss so much

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    More great tips!

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  93. July 8, 2008

    I don’t agree with all of these (especially their strong humanistic sort of focus) except Point VII, which is significantly less humanistic. Get over yourself. Take the modest approach. This I thoroughly enjoyed and wholeheartedly agreed on. I think that too many people do take themselves way too seriously, and much of Western society’s bend towards self-esteem is getting to a rather irritating level (ala Opera etc.) I finally found much better self-esteem when I just got over myself.

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    Maybe you must add one more: Don’t consider yourself to have achieved everything or proven yourself to everyone, that’s the starting point for not achieving anything.

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    think sometimes we have to be patient and sometimes we have to get moving. And real wisdom is in knowing when to stay and when to go. I know, it’s easier said than done, but we all know when we’ve exhausted certain possibilities, and quite possibly ourselves, in the course of finding out.

    One way is to train our brain to do some assessing first. Try the ‘scenario’ test: If I quit this job, what will tomorrow bring? Maybe some adventures, but without a paycheck. What if I stayed in this job? The same old stuff, but with a paycheck. What if I thought about a new career? A good plan, because you can stay in your job while you’re working towards finding something more challenging. So you better do the brain work first by asking yourself a lot of questions.

    And if, after trying to make your current situation better, it is an obvious dead end, then it’s a good time to move on. Hope this will help you.

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