“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fear is responsible for many things in our lives, if not most, frustration and failure. So when you’ll get to know how to work with and overcome your fears and anxiety, you’ll step into a world of virtually unlimited possibility and satisfaction.
I believe this article will help you understand more about fear and choose how you respond to it, creating a space for greater meaning and prosperity in your life. But first and foremost, understand that you always have a choice about how to respond to and deal with fear. You can cave into it, struggle with it, accept it, or work around it. You always have a choice.
So, let’s take a look at these easy steps which will lead you to fearlessness:
1. Get to know the source of your fears.
Understand that fear is a state of limited, restricted awareness and of limited, restricted choices. Your fears will try to divert you and make you unaware of their true nature. So when you’re trying to enlighten a fear that is not the source, it is possible that your focus will be diverted from the source of fears, and they would continue to manipulate your actions.
If you think you can’t overcome your fears however you try, don’t despair, it’s not wrong to feel that way. Just keep observing how your awareness is being diverted, and keep succeeding.
2. See fear for what it is.
To overcome your fears, you have to be aware of their existence first. The next time you feel anxious, recognize that fear, not stress, is causing your anxiety. Identifying what’s triggering your fear will help you handle it better. And if you completely map out your fears, they lose their power because they no longer get it from you. After that, only a little nudge is required and they fall apart.
3. Control your accelerator.
As you approach a beautiful lady or prepare to speak at an important meeting, consciously slow your breathing. Respiration is your body’s accelerator. Control your breathing and you control your fear.
4. Step into the things feared.
Try to imagine yourself in the stressful situation, then mentally create the tone of voice, attitude, and actions you want to display. Visualizing the perfect response helps establish pathways in the brain that become self-fulfilling.
5. Practice out loud.
Act out what you’ve been visualizing. Play the role of the confident, relaxed person. It’ll help you learn new strategies for dealing with fear.
6. Bring the fear out in the daylight, where you can examine it.
Another thing to keep in mind is that no matter how much training you do, if you wait for that fear to present itself, it will always have the advantage of surprise. So it’s better to confront it on your terms. Do something, sign up for Toastmasters, then volunteer for that speech. Prod that quivering mass out of the shadows, where you can deal with it.
7. Recruit help.
It’s doubly tough to face fear alone. If you still find yourself concerned on a constant basis, you may want to talk to someone about it, either a friend, or a professional, depending on how severe your worry is and how much it’s affecting your overall stress level. A true friend will support your efforts to beat the fear that’s bothering you, and tell you when you’re being a misguided wimp. If there’s no one like this in your life, no wonder you’re so stressed.
8. Enlighten all.
You are powerful. You are worthy. Know that. Feel it in your essence and know that this is Truth. There’s no point in asking for something you already have. Know you are powerful and there will be nothing to stop you!
9. Make the negative flow of energies stop.
Gather up your courage and say ‘Not anymore!’ Make a commitment, a conscious decision, to deal with your fears. An don’t let yourself off easy. Tell yourself, that you can do this if you want to and if you work at it. Because it’s true.
No matter how different the obstacles may be you need to face out challenges full force. And no matter what has happened to you remember that dealing with your problems only makes you a stronger person. Believe in yourself, and you’ll accomplish anything you put your mind.
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Craig Harper
Great post Ririan!
We want ‘different’ but we trap ourselves in ’same’ because of fear, laziness, apathy and ignorance.
Primarily fear.
Fear of failure.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of losing what we’ve got (“I’d rather have mediocre… than nothing”).
Fear of embarrassment.
Fear of discomfort (emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual).
We need to take time out to get clarity.
Real clarity.
Keep up the great writing Ririan.
February 19, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Ririan
Craig, Thank you for your feedback. And by the way I also think we NEED clarity. Study after study show how essential clear goals and objectives are to our success. If we don’t take the time to get really clear about exactly what it is we’re trying to accomplish, then we’re forever doomed to spend our life achieving the goals of those who do.
February 19, 2007 at 5:12 pm
viji
Hi Ririan, I was on vacation. But so much to read from your blog. Will go through all. This one is very nice. My policy is to overcome fear “just give a try”. that’s all. Always enjoy reading your articles. Have a good day. Viji
February 20, 2007 at 6:08 am
Sania Wyatt
To get rid of my agoraphobia, I learn to mingle with persons with the same handicap as me. I learn from their experiences and their support.
Getting rid of fears is easier when done with other people surrounding and supporting you.
Great blog! Keep it up!
February 20, 2007 at 7:37 am
Dmitriy
This is great information advice to anyone who stutters. Accepting the problem and facing it head on will definitely help! great post!
February 20, 2007 at 11:42 am
BK
Great post you have Ririan. For myself, I always ‘force’ myself to face fear. The more I fear doing something, the more I made myself to do it.
February 22, 2007 at 8:20 pm
9 Ways to Dismiss Fear - sidereallife.com
[...] — Link (ririanproject.com) Posted by javen on February 27th, 2007 Filed in Happiness, Productivity [...]
February 27, 2007 at 6:26 am
Kara-Leah Masina
I always thought I was such a brave person… until I realised that i was living in denial of my fear and that if I ever wanted to move forward I had to bring those fears into the daylight (love that phrase). This is such an important part of living more consciously and you’ve written such a concise, do-able article on it, thank you.
FIrst time at your blog, and such a wealth of information. I love the photos you include too.
Much joy,
Kara-Leah
February 28, 2007 at 1:14 pm
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Good tips. I always inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 8. It works, just try it!
Bob Hasko
February 28, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Mark McManus
What a great article. Visualisations are extremely important as the brain can’t tell the difference between a practise and the real thing, so make it crystal clear. Also, the point about breathing is invaluable, thanks very much.
Mark McManus
March 5, 2007 at 1:07 am
JamesT
What gives guys? Haven’t seen anything from you in over a month now! I enjoyed reading Ririan, but are you only on temporary hiatus?
March 30, 2007 at 7:58 am
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A lot of the stuff was pretty good to ok… but most of it was really just shallow stuff when it comes to addressing real problems of fear.
Firstly, what the heck is this about, “You are powerful. You are worthy. Know that. Feel it in your essence and know that this is Truth.” Eh? Promoting a strange spirituality will not alter fear in a person, it will only encourage it. If you think your statement is Truth, you’re giving people the wrong info. The universe is a relational place, so Truth must be a person of some sort.
Never mind my rambling, though. The problem is that people who are trapped by fear don’t know they have a choice, and telling them that they have a choice doesn’t really sort out the problem. Your post is for people with only light problems, not deeper ones. So, it was ok in that respect, but I do think it lacked some meat on philosophical grounds.
September 10, 2007 at 6:14 am
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These are really easier said than done. I fear death. And when faced with situations that might as well threaten my life, even watching extreme videos, I really shiver. How should I get over this?
January 11, 2008 at 3:37 am