“The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.”
- Edward R. Murrow
Note: The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery).
There will always be people who seem to have the ‘gift of the gab’ — they can talk their way into any job, out of any awkward situation and make others laugh. It seems effortless on their part but there is a lot more for you to know about conversation than you may realize. Talk shows; radio programs; public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words.
It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it’s your mouth that’s doing the work, your brain works extra hard to produce a lot of things you know.
So what better way to start being a more effective communicator than knowing the very person closest to you: yourself.
1. What You Know
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be a confident and effective orator is to practice what you’ve learned.
2. Listening
It’s just as important as asking questions. Practice listening to yourself. Sometimes just by listening to the sound of your own voice you can become more confident in yourself and say the things you believe in with conviction.
3. Humility
We are only too human and therefore we all make mistakes. It’s not uncommon to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means. So don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if the audience is unsure about it then you can always make a joke out of it.
4. Eye Contact
It’s important that you keep eye contact when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, as it conveys confidence and ensures your audience does not ignore you.
5. Humor
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech, especially when the topic is heavy or the speech long. Also if your speech is after several other speakers, the audience may already be half asleep. With humor, you’ll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they’ll feel that you’re just as approachable, and as human as those who listen.
6. Social Interaction
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You’ll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what makes people the way they are..
7. Me, Myself, and I
Ever sung to yourself in the shower, or bath? By listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech you can help correct the stress areas of your pitch.
8. With a Smile
A smile can say it all very much like eye contact, as long as it’s natural and not forced. There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it’s a funeral. You can better express what you’re saying when you smile and people will warm to you more.
9. A Role Model
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they’re at a public gathering and whom you have admired. Taking a mental note of how they emphasized what they said and what reaction they got can help you once you take center stage.
Preparation is everything and will show in your speech. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while others learn the speech verbatim. Just be comfortable with what you know and what works for you.
And that about sums it up. These are only suggestions though and they may seem rather amateurish, but they have helped me in any public or private speaking. It also never hurts to be with people and listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational. Copy from the best.
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MrAchievement.com (Stanley Bronstein)
Out of all you mentioned, listening may be the most important. The more we can learn to listen, the better communicators we will be, because we will be able to understand and respond to those who are communicating with us.
MrAchievement
Stanley Bronstein
Attorney, CPA, Author, Blogger & Professional Motivational Speaker
May 1, 2008 at 4:23 pm
ace
I’ve been waiting for a post for so long! Great advice!
May 1, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Shamelle @ Enhance Life
#11. PLAY BACK for confirmation
Simple, you ask for confirmation. You say “let me see if I have understood correctly, you are saying that …” and you rephrase what the speaker said. If this “play back” version is acknowledged as being correct by the original speaker, then you have a greater degree of confidence in you own understanding. For any viewpoint/message/decision, there should be a clear, concise and verified statement of what was said; without this someone will get it wrong.
#12. non-verbal skills – body language also matter. (Perhaps this goes with smile, eye contact)
May 2, 2008 at 3:36 am
Marelisa
It’s also very important to make sure you’re speaking slowly; this conveys confidence and allows people to better understand what you’re saying. Also, when you have to give a speech, visualize yourself doing it well and getting a good reception from the audience. Your mind does not know the difference between something that actually happened and something you imagined and it will think that you’ve already given the speech before and did well. Lastly, I think a lot of people get nervous when giving a speech because they put the focus on themselves: put your focus on the people in the audience and concentrate on their needs (they are there listening to your speech because you have something to say that they need to hear).
May 2, 2008 at 6:13 am
Marc and Angel Hack Life
Although this is an interesting article, I believe it really comes down to three key points:
1. Understanding your audience.
2. Delivering your message clearly with as little fluff as possible.
3. Listening and responding to feedback promptly and effectively.
Communication must be kept simple or the message is lost in the song and dance.
May 2, 2008 at 12:05 pm
RJ
Be curious about the other person and show genuine interest. When you can do this sincerely everyone you meet will think you are the best conversationalist in the world
May 2, 2008 at 6:31 pm
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May 4, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Bob madden
I started to record my staff meetings. Llater I reviewed the tapes, shocked and surprised to hear myself distinctly stifling employee participation. For example, as soon as an idea was opened for discussion, I would jump in with, “What do you think? Here’s what I think.” Painful as it was to play back my own words, it helped me understand and change my management style. And employees are now more comfortable voicing their opinions.
Cheers and enjoyed the lessons above.
Bob
May 8, 2008 at 12:27 am
Talha
Hi! Im Talha im facing this problem since my childhood that whenever i try to talk to anybody i started feeling that someone has hold my tongue, then i feel that i don’t know anything and i can’t speak any word.
my body starts shivering and also my face with fear. i don’t know why this appears but i have understand that it is due to lack of confidence. please please pleassseeeeee help me. Because no one can understand that what i feel among people.
please help me
June 23, 2008 at 1:40 am