Understanding Anger and What It Makes of You
Everybody gets angry. Sometimes it’s over something as simple as a parking space, while at other times the issues are more serious. However, anger in and of itself never gets anything done. It is simply us losing control of ourselves in heated situations. However, in its effect on ourselves, anger is only a letter away from danger – literally and figuratively. Acting out of anger can make us look immature and lose a variety of opportunities in life.
It would be unfair to simply judge the women in that parking lot because we will almost always act equally foolish at one point or another in our lives. Anger pushes us to do things we would normally think to stop ourselves doing. The effects are similar to being drunk, in that we often don’t see ourselves becoming angry, but all of a sudden, find that we are. Of even more concern is the fact that once we are angry, it can be hard to calm down before we do something we regret.
Identify what causes anger. Almost always, it boils down to someone not acting as we wanted them to. The point of this is that anger is a reaction, not an independent action itself. Try to think of any time you got angry and it showed, but had something good come of the situation, and chances are you’ll come up dry. You wouldn’t let someone else control you, but when you get mad, you’re letting your anger do just that. Above all, ask if what you are upset about will matter in a year, a month, or even a day.
How do you get rid of anger? By getting control over yourself. Try to model Buddha, who said “Holding on to anger is like holding on to a red-hot coal, you’re the only one who’s going to get burned.” Indeed, he was right. Anger only harms and never helps. Nobody benefits from anger, and it’s certainly not worth winning an argument. As much as you might want to do otherwise, it would help to simply try to bite your tongue.
Neotechie
Don’t get angry. Don’t get angry. Don’t get angry.
August 4, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Kevin McCarthy
Great post about managing anger. I especially like your quote from Siddhartha, and the note you make about the literal connection between anger and danger. They are so closely tied to one another. I will say that, if the anger is potent enough, it can get out of control and not only hurt yourself but those around you, even the ones closest to you (sometimes, those are the persons who make us angry). I work for http://www.icyou.com. icyou is a user-generated site for health care videos. Check out the site for personal stories, doctors’ notes, family members and other experts talking about anger issues.
August 7, 2009 at 8:14 am
cennetevi
Great post about managing anger. I especially like your quote from Siddhartha, and the note you make about the literal connection between anger and danger.
August 7, 2009 at 9:33 am
Roseanna Leaton
Love your article and the quote. Another quote I like comes from a book on mental golf called “Every shot must have a purpose” by Pia Nillson. She says “anger makes you stupid”, and she’s absolutely right. Whenever you become angry your higher brain functions are effectively cut off and you only act upon your more primitive lower brain functioning. A red mist does indeed come down and cloud your vision. The key is in learning to either stop the anger before it takes a hold, or in knowing to take a deep breath and relax, thereby allowing your logical brain functions to re-engage.
Roseanna
August 13, 2009 at 9:34 am
seslisohbet
comments bu ahtun cok feci abi bu siker bizi yaz
August 14, 2009 at 1:45 am
Paul Maurice Martin
“Anger only harms and never helps” is overwhelmingly true. Only exceptions I can think of are physical self defense and when it comes in a rush of outrage, especially when you’re young, and learning what you find really reprehensible – if you learn how NOT to hang onto it. For example, I recall reading about the rape of a 13 year old girl by soldiers in Vietnam when I was a 13 year old boy and felt real outrage – was my first awareness of rape.
September 6, 2009 at 9:39 am
Paul Maurice Martin
Not sure why there’s a “page not found” message when you click on my name in my comment above but here it is again: I’m at Original Faith and http://www.originalfaith.com is definitely a functioning site.
Thanks,
Paul
September 6, 2009 at 9:44 am