Expectations we have of ourselves are greatly influenced by the opinions we formulate about ourselves in childhood. We may think of ourselves as capable in some ways and not in others. When we achieve our positive expectations, we think of ourselves as successful.

Success, or “more success,” is interpreted differently by different people. Success may be found in a major accomplishment or in a small act. Success to one person could be a new job. To another it could be saving money and buying a new house. Success could also be improved health or improved appearance, improved family life, or friendships. It could be winning a race, flying a kite, gathering a bouquet of flowers, preparing a gourmet meal, singing a song, dancing a dance.

Success takes many forms. Whatever form it takes people who experience success feel a sense of achievement and, for the moment at least, a measure of happiness.

Some people feel most successful when they have to work hard to overcome major obstacles, like learning how to control a drinking habit or exercising regularly after an illness or injury.

Other people view success as coping with specific daily tasks. To these people, getting out of bed, leaving the house, and going to work is success for the day. Coping reasonably well on a daily basis with a physically or emotionally ill family member may be seen as success.

Still other people view success as the achievement of long-range goals such as graduation from college, learning to play the piano, being voted into public office, securing a job promotion, or improving a relationship that is falling apart.

When people hold one view strongly, and value one kind of goal (short-term, long-term, difficult to achieve) while discounting others, they may miss out on happiness. Moments of true success may seem hollow, and some people may feel trapped by circumstances beyond their control or by what they consider their personal failures.

The longing for something more is most fully satisfied in people who see value in achieving daily tasks, value in achieving long-range goals, and value in finding the courage to solve crisis situations.