I recently saw something I won’t soon forget. Two women stood in a parking lot, screaming and waving their arms around fighting over a parking spot. Even though there were plenty of other spaces available, they kept at it until they were reduced to name-calling. As their own children watched from the car, a crowd began to gather around. Needless to say, it had to be embarrassing to the kids – and it would soon be embarrassing to the ladies themselves, too.

Everybody gets angry. Sometimes it’s over something as simple as a parking space, while at other times the issues are more serious. However, anger in and of itself never gets anything done. It is simply us losing control of ourselves in heated situations. However, in its effect on ourselves, anger is only a letter away from danger – literally and figuratively. Acting out of anger can make us look immature and lose a variety of opportunities in life.

It would be unfair to simply judge the women in that parking lot because we will almost always act equally foolish at one point or another in our lives. Anger pushes us to do things we would normally think to stop ourselves doing. The effects are similar to being drunk, in that we often don’t see ourselves becoming angry, but all of a sudden, find that we are. Of even more concern is the fact that once we are angry, it can be hard to calm down before we do something we regret.

Identify what causes anger. Almost always, it boils down to someone not acting as we wanted them to. The point of this is that anger is a reaction, not an independent action itself. Try to think of any time you got angry and it showed, but had something good come of the situation, and chances are you’ll come up dry. You wouldn’t let someone else control you, but when you get mad, you’re letting your anger do just that. Above all, ask if what you are upset about will matter in a year, a month, or even a day.

How do you get rid of anger? By getting control over yourself. Try to model Buddha, who said “Holding on to anger is like holding on to a red-hot coal, you’re the only one who’s going to get burned.” Indeed, he was right. Anger only harms and never helps. Nobody benefits from anger, and it’s certainly not worth winning an argument. As much as you might want to do otherwise, it would help to simply try to bite your tongue.