Posts Tagged ‘blame’

December5

5 Ways to Recharge Yourself

By: Ririan

Admit it or not, at some point you have suffered from the disease to please doing things for everybody and never saying “no.” The problem is you may be neglecting the one person who needs you the most — YOU!

Here are 5 ways to recharge yourself:

1. Lighten up the burden of imposing high standards on yourself. Most often than not, these self-imposed high standard makes us cringe with guilt whenever we commit a self-nurturing act.

We create high expectations that are too difficult to meet, and when things don’t work out the way we planned it, we blame ourselves in the end. The fact is no one is capable of doing everything. We need no one’s

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Posted in: Self Improvement3 comments

November13

The Secrets about Self-Improvement

By: Ririan

sunrise
The word self-improvement becomes synonymous with success, only if the tips you are really following, fetch you some improvement in your life style. The improvement may be in terms of your financial growth or your health or in your relationships. Read through to unravel the simple methods to improve you to the greater heights.

Start with where you are and what you have!

This above line may sound very familiar. But it is important that you should remember or never forget this line when you get up in the morning. Many times you want to start a new venture or even simply new practice in your day-to-day life. For example many of us want to stay fit. So we want to hit a gym. But most of us will not immediately work-out the plan. They will say themselves that let me start on the first day of next week which will grow to month or even a year. Like this, you may want to meet your parents or want to say sorry to your friend and the list continues. These are little things but they make huge differences in your personality and in your life. Do it today.

Don’t blame the things around you:

As long as you are still alive, you are capable of changing and growing. It is you who is responsible for everything which is happening to you. So don’t blame the things around you for your failure.

Take up the responsibility for your own growth:

Life gives us lots of opportunities. But we are not saying ‘YES’ to that. Many a time you want to take up a challenging assignment. And the next moment you will think about the hard work that needs to be put on that task. And also you doubt your ability. So the result is the hesitation, a thief of success. Take up the new challenges. Be open to the new things. Try your hand in adventures. These things will automatically show the path to the growth and self-satisfaction.

Don’t live in fear:

Do you know more people are more scared than you? So never let the fear factor swallow your success. Don’t compromise often with a phrase “if you were”. Stop praising about the great souls. Be the change you want to be.

Rise before the sun:

Last but not least. Wake up earlier and plan the day and at least move an inch daily.

Posted in: Featured, Self Improvement12 comments

September9

How to Look On The Bright Side

By: Ririan

Under no circumstances must you be permanently glad in the mode of Pollyanna who was a dim wit. Permanent gladness is unnatural and foolhardy. Permanently glad people who are always looking on the bright side will not only one day be arrested, they will be caught off guard by people knifing them in the back and by the small print in loan documents.

Look on the bright side by all means, but look even longer and harder at the seamy side. There is positively no one to blame but yourself if schemes and dreams collapse owing to your own failure to take everything into account, I draw your attention to a troubling incident from my own life.

An incident from my own life
My first novel was about a girl who grew a penis and I wrote it during my third pregnancy. I don’t know why. Linda, a few blocks down the road with the daughter your age who moved to America, typed it up for me and she liked it. I didn’t know what to make of it. I was pregnant. But my agent at the time adored it. She said it was a work of genius and the find of her career. Maybe she was pregnant too.

The agent was so confident that she came round one evening to talk to your father and me about how we would deal with the success she was certain would hit us like a whirlwind. I couldn’t think of a title but she said it didn’t matter. It had everything going for it and she was going to auction it. So your father and I sat back and waited to be covered in glory.

She sent the book out to selected publishers and the selected publishers, appalled at her shamelessness, sent it back. It was a total wash-out. I immediately leaked rhesus negative blood into the baby’s rhesus positive blood and thought I’d never write again. But the baby survived and so did I.

What I learnt was correct thinking for dreams and schemes. Hope for everything but expect nothing. It is a balanced outlook that goes hand in hand with a sense of proportion.

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February12

Take Responsibility for Your Life

By: RirianProject

Do you know the difference between blame and responsibility? I have a friend who takes very little responsibility for his life because he feels that by doing so means that he’s to blame for the situation. It’s something that has been instilled in him since a very early age – his mother is the same way. People who feel this way are also probably feeling very out of control in their lives. It’s extremely hard to control the direction of a moving vehicle if you aren’t the one in the driver’s seat pushing the pedals and turning the steering wheel, right? The same principle applies to my friend. Since he cannot take responsibility for the things that happen in his life, he has no control over where his life is going. This can lead to feelings of anger, fear, depression, and even create additional control issues.

There are four tips that are defined by Dr Phil MacGraw that I absolutely believe and offer to not only my friend, but anyone that has the same types of feelings. These are general tips that are offered to help you claim responsibility for your life in any situation.

1. There is something that you are getting from your behaviour. Your task is to figure out what your payoff is, and then cut that payoff out. You wouldn’t be doing what you are doing if you didn’t get something out of it.

2. Dr Phil has a “catch phrase”: You’ve got to name it before you can claim it. How true is that? There are plenty of ways that you can “name it” such as having a talk with your family, writing everything down, or even talking with a therapist. You need to know what you are dealing with before you can do anything about it.

3. Leave your past where it is, because it can easily become your future. If experienced emotional deprivation at some point in your past, you need to have closure to leave that feeling in the past. If there are things you didn’t get from someone before, create that feeling for yourself now. Dr Phil states, “If you want to be loved, be lovable. If you want to get your family interested in your life, get interested in their lives”.

4. Behaviour means consequences. Here’s the big one! As an adult, you choose the behaviour that you exhibit, and the consequences from that choice are your responsibility. You can’t blame your family, your boss, your friend, or anyone else for the things that are happening in your life anymore. If you feel badly in a situation, do something to course correct. Don’t live in that moment. Don’t live in that place that makes you feel badly. “The greatest stress in life is to hold someone else accountable for something they can’t control. The only person you control is you” says Dr Phil.

Life is stressful enough with today’s economical issues and strains they are causing individuals, families, and marriages across the globe. Give yourself a break and start to take back control of the things you can control.

Posted in: Featured, Psychology, Self Improvement0 comments

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