How many real friends do you think that you have? That’s a question I have been thinking a lot about lately, have you ever posed the question to yourself? Think about it, are you popular? Kind of in between, maybe a little shy? Do you think that you have dozens of friends or maybe just a few? I would bet the answer would really surprise you if you thought about it. I guess the first thing to be is to define what a friend is, is it someone you just hang out with, if you’re a girl is it someone you shop with or if you’re a guy is it a golfing buddy? If you’re single, is it who you go out with, and if you’re married is it the couple or couples that you spend time with? I bet most people have experienced losing what they thought was a really good friend, the person somehow really disappointed them, maybe it was a betrayal of some kind. We have all been through it in one way or another, the “friend” didn’t act in the way you were certain that they would, some form of trust was broken. So the real question is, were they ever really a friend to begin with? Think about it, the truth is, we just really misjudged that person, they were most likely never the person we thought they were to begin with, people rarely change so this breach of friendship must have come from a character flaw that was always there. The truth is, we probably just didn’t see it, the other parts of the relationship hid the flaw, maybe they were great fun or really funny, or maybe they were the person who was always available to hang out with,or maybe the chemistry just mixed well. But when the pressure was on, when you needed that friend to deliver the real act of friendship, the character flaw emerged.

And in the end isn’t that what true friendship is really about? It’s about the character and trust that is needed when the pressure is on, maybe when its not so easy to be a friend, maybe when that person has to choose your friendship over something that might be important to them, or maybe something not even that important. So, my question is, how many friends do you have that are really like that? How many people will be there when you need them through thick and thin, and not just when it is convenient for them? How many people do you really trust to do the right thing when it is much easier to do the easy thing. I thought about this question, when I started I thought I had fifteen close friends, and about fifteen other friends. Of course it was being burned by one friend that started the process for me. I discovered I probably have far fewer true friends then I thought. I counted, at the beginning of the process I thought I had fifteen “real friends” by the end I was down to six, I realized I just couldn’t count on the others, if I really needed someone, if I was in trouble, who could I count on to be there for me? The number was six, the others are still my friends, I still enjoy their company, but at the end of the day I need to know who is going to be there for me. It was an interesting process, almost a cleansing, I think everyone should examine their friendships.